Trip to Kashmir - The Prelude

When a long term desire is about to come true one got to be excited. So was I, when we decided that Kashmir will be our Summer holiday destination of 2017.

However, as we all know that the State is battling a lot in the last 30 years. We the mainland folks treat the place as a State of ‘Terrorists’. The land of trouble, the paradise that is been ruled or infested by demons etc.
Hence, when the word spread that we were going to Kashmir, people had all sorts of things to say.

Oh my god! Didn’t you find any other place to go?
It’s not safe there? Stone pelters will ruin your holiday?
What’s the point in going to a place which will ruin your happiness?
It’s so unsafe there… people roam around with guns. What if something bad happens?
Are you sure, you will come back in one piece?

Blah blah blah!

We were nervous initially, however we wanted to fulfill the demand of our daughter, who wanted to see snow in India in the month of May. So we confined in our dear friend Priyanka, who is travel buff herself and helps people travel to their dream places with ease. She planned it all for us, the flights, places to visit, how many days to stay where, which spots to visit, best deals, weather conditions, the safety and security etc.

Excitedly we book the tickets, hotels, etc. We were super excited to the core, but there was a fear that lurked in my mind… My dad had completed his Early Stage Throat Cancer treatment regime just about 10 days before our designated day of travel. Though his treatment was over, he was weak and was recovering at snail’s pace. I had to be ready for any emergency. And, the emergency happened just before 3 days of our date of travel. His condition deteriorated so much so that he needed to be hospitalized. We were determined to get him out of the hospital on time without hampering his treatment or having to cancel our trip. Did we discuss on canceling the trip? Yes, we did. Were we afraid that things may not go the way we want it to? Yes, we were. Were we disappointed? No, we weren’t. What did we finally do? We decided to do our best and take the best decision within our capabilities.

So what happened finally? Did we travel or not? Guess what, we did travel. Dad was back home on time, he was out of danger and was getting monitored well, we had our support system on standby, doctors were on call, ambulance numbers were stuck to the fridge so that anyone can call them (just in case). Did we travel with full peace of mind? No, we were worried, we were tensed, but we thought, what the heck! We will defy the odds. We will come back much more stronger and calmer.

The day of the travel started really early, we were out of home around 2.30 am in the morning. We were flying from Bangalore - Delhi - Srinagar. Idea was to reach Srinagar as soon as we can, we were scheduled to go to Pahalgam the same day. Even though we were sleep deprived, we were super excited. None of us could sleep in the flight, even after trying hard.

The first glimpse of The Mighty Himalayas caught our eyes about 30 mins before landing in Srinagar Airport. The excitement soared, The Himalayas was flaunting it’s beautiful snow capped peaks. The grace, the aura, the magic was just beyond words. Srinagar greeted us with beautiful sunshine and calm breeze. As we approached to the baggage counter, our driver for the entire trip, Aijaz Bhai called. His calm, welcoming voice made us comfortable immediately.

As we came out of the Airport, Aijaz Bhai was waiting for us with a clean and neat car and a smile. His first words were, “Welcome to Kashmir, Main aapke saath rahunga agle 7 din tak”, in impeccable English. As we settled down he told us some of the things that are very normal in Kashmir. Among them were spotting heavily armed forces protecting the valley, Chinar(Maple) Trees, Willow trees, Good looking people, extremely friendly and helpful attitudes of people specially towards tourists etc. He also mentioned Kashmiris love to smile and strike random conversation with people and they respect women a lot. Women are absolutely safe in the state. Specially, if you are a women traveling to that state, they take utmost care to make sure they feel safe.

As we drove past the alleys of the city, the local radio played melodious bollywood hits from the 60’s and 70’s. The era when Kashmir was heaven for filmmakers and every other film was shot in the beautiful locales of the state. The first song that we heard playing in the radio was this one;



This was the song and the movie (Jab Jab Phool Khile) that influenced me immensely to romanticize about Kashmir. This was the song that sowed the seed of desire to visit Kashmir, when I was all of 7-8 years old kid. I was thrilled like a child listening to the song. As if the universe was welcoming us with the best way possible. I kept gushing about it for quite some time.

We drove past along Willow trees, battalions of troops, beautiful saffron fields, magnificent Chinar trees, tiny little villages, herds of sheeps and goats, unruly water streams, Apple orchards etc for around 2.5 hours. River Jehlum, the lifeline of Kashmir gave us company as we drove towards Pahalgam. We were in Pahelgam by lunch time. Pahalgam is famous for it’s long pine trees, lush green valleys and being the last city before the start of the famous Amarnath Yatra.

We checked into Hotel Volga, a hotel surrounded by snow capped and lush green huge mountain ranges. We felt as if the mountains were guarding us. We were oblivious to the unique adventure that awaited us.

Will be continued to Part 2...

Whose responsibility is it anyway?

Today when I shared a post What Holds Back Women MBAs In Their Careers? on Facebook with a question why is it always a man employee is preferred against a woman employee, only because she is going to be married one day and have kids, a male friend of mine commented 'Naturally Women are responsible for the upbringing of the kids and holding together the family' and this got me thinking...

Whose responsibility is it anyway to bring up the children?

Is it going to be the women always, because they are the one who are privileged to bear children! This seems most convenient and most natural. But have we as a society ever thought what the women may be going through while she is contemplating whether to give in to the pressure from society of bringing a child in her life, thereby permanently making her less professional, less productive, less reliable, less strong etc. (Well, as per the natural thought process of the society). Though she may be equally educated as her Man, had the same vigor as the Man and probably even be more loyal than him, still she is seen as a weak contender because she is going to be married and have kids or going to be solely 'responsible for holding the family together'. Consciously or unconsciously her 'liberal' and 'modern' Man expects her to take care of the kids that are going to be born or have already born single handedly, because he is busy earning for the so called family! On the other hand she is thinking that her so called 'liberal' and 'modern' thinking Man will support her not only financially, but also by sharing the responsibility of upbringing children and moreover for holding the family together, helping her in day to day activities of their children.

But her expectations (rather dreams) are shattered immediately after the post natal honeymoon period is over, and she is back to work. She learns that though she has accommodated her new responsibility in her daily routine, her man is happily oblivious to this fact. He does not even feel the need to change his routine in favor of the family. On the contrary spends more and more time in the office! His argument "I have added responsibility now, so I need to really work hard to bring in more money, to secure our future" Wow, what a sacrifice! But does women really need this sacrifice? This is like giving someone mango when they are simply asking for banana.

Have our so called liberal and modern thinking men ever thought of this? Have they tried understanding their women they way women want them to. Simply giving slogans and talking big is not going to make women more liberal or let them take a truly independent decision of concentrating on career, while enjoying family life and motherhood. It is only when men start sharing the responsibility of the family in true sense the women can shed this sense of false responsibility and start following their dreams more freely.

Is MEN ready for this challenge? How many men can proudly say that they have taken down their working hours to accommodate the family needs? How many men can boast of sacrificing their career so that their women can excel.

Would love to hear from MEN on this.

Ram Janmabhoomi or Babri Masjid?

The recent news deferred justice for Ram Janmabhoomi and Babri Masjid dispute probed me to put my thoughts down here.

I still remember the day when the Babri Masjid was demolished and it was shown LIVE on National Television – was all about 13 years old kid then. I remember how my parents were worried that this could lead to a huge impact... lots of brutality was just about to unfold. As a kid I was unable to understand why at the first place someone was destroying something? How some destruction can make you divine? How can you get blessings from your 'God' by destroying something? How can killing people make you become more pure? With these questions in my mind i saw what was following, the riots, killings, burning people, raping girls etc on TV. Luckily we were residing in a non volatile area. But this had a huge impact on my emotional self.

I started hating my own religion... thinking if this is what my religion has to offer, why should i even worship a so called 'God'... if even 'God' can't prevent these things from happening then why is he/she called God? I didn't like the fact that i was a Hindu and my fellow people did something as shameful as this... Now after 18 years from this, though the intensity of this has reduced a lot, still i am not able to wholeheartedly pray when i visit temples (off course just to give company to someone, or when someone insists). I never go to temples on my own, never because i feel it from within. I have become indifferent to religion and just don't judge anyone or anything based on religion.

While reading about this subject on Wikipedia, i found apparently Hindus and Muslims used to pray together in this Mosque – Temple together until 1870. Here is the excerpt:


"It is said that up to that time, the Hindus and Mohamedans alike used to worship in the mosque-temple. Since the British rule a railing has been put up to prevent dispute, within which, in the mosque the Mohamedans pray, while outside the fence the Hindus have raised a platform on which they make their offerings.

Then why can't this happen again? Why can't we make a Temple in the same compound as the Mosque shares? Why are we struggling so much for a verdict? Let's set an example again to our younger generations let's unite. Why do we need to struggle so much to unite with our own country men? After all our ancestors have done it quite well i the past... if they can do it, we can do it as well!

First experience of an accident

Yesterday morning i was driving towards dentist's clinic. After i passed Sadashiva nagar park, i was driving towards the Mekri circle road, one lady on a Scooty Pep was driving on the perpendicular road and towards the junction suddenly sped up and banged onto my bumper!

That junction is a killer junction. People coming on the perpendicular road don't realize that there is a junction coming up. Also they see the whole road ahead of them empty, therefore the natural tendency of drivers is to speed up... Which turns to be dangerous! And that's exactly what happened! I was on first gear and just nearing the junction, suddenly a two wheeler whizzed past me as i press the break... but it was too late and the vehicle's tail hit the end of my front bumper and her Scooty took a half turn and fell down... she fell down on her shoulders... I immediately parked my car and went to check on her... already there were about 10-15 people surrounding her as she picked herself up. Apparently she had blacked out for few seconds... she had a deep cut on her left eye brow and had some bruises... she was complaining of shoulder pain... however it was not so severe.

She didn't even know what had gone wrong... when i told her she suddenly came in front of my car as i breaked... she admitted that she was rushing to office as she was already very late and had got a call from office. She was apparently trying to get ahead of a SUV and an Auto rickshaw and that's when she came and hit me!

I told her i could help her getting a first aid and also let her relax for a while... I took her to Aneesh's office (spot was just behind Aneesh's office) helped her with first aid. Waited for her husband to come and pick her up. We had also parked her bike in Aneesh's office. After about 30-40 mins later her husband landed up and he looked very angry and annoyed with the whole thing... I tried to be friendly with him and explaining him what had happened... however, he seemed indifferent and just took her away!

After that even i drove back to the destination and kind of shrugged it off... i was happy that everything went off smoothly... had it been a man driving the bike i am sure it would not have been this smooth...

To my surprise brother of the lady called up Aneesh this morning to inform that she is admitted to the Hospital and the bike has suffered some damage... and he was trying to get compensation for the same... what i don't understand is that why she needed to be admitted in the hospital? She didn't suffer any major injury, neither did the bike had any major damage... the bike got some scratches here and there, and one of the rear view mirror had broken... What is more surprising is that they had the time to find the office number and called... He even avoided giving the name of the hospital where she is admitted!

This action provokes me to think, is this world not for people who are honest, compassionate and nice? Had I the fled the site, what would have happened to her? Is this the reward of taking care of people, even when its not your fault? Why does people always tend to think, if your are nice to someone, there is something fishy about it and pressure can get some some undue advantages!!!

Back to blogging!!!

Its been quite long that I haven't written anything at all... to be specific, its been 2 years! I was busy with my first pregnancy and took some time to cope with it and now I am back. Believe it or not I have been missing it a lot and feeling so good to have found time to write something again.

Now that I have started again, I am thinking what should I write about... should it be something from the current affairs? Or review of the last movie I saw? Or would be it be something about the organization I work for? None of these seem very interesting now. I am also thinking why not write about my daughter [who kept me away from blogging for so long!]. Yeh, that sounds interesting for the time being...

My daughter, who is about 16 months old now, is such a bundle of energy and enthusiasm. I sometime feel why can't we have such energy and enthusiasm. We could have been much better person then. Most of her day goes on roaming around the house and inspecting and learning new things... picking every trick which is displayed, every antic which is been performed, trying to learn every word spoken to her... she would try to imitate every action of every one of us... the moment I am back from office she would try talking to me and narrating the whole day, in her own jargon! She acts as a super stress buster... every evening I spend with her I learn something new... never giving up, seeing positive in everything, trying to be compassionate about others, accepting your mistake and learning not to repeat them and so on... and I am learning them in a new way!

Life is so good with her. However, its not the lazy life I had before she came into our life, i am still enjoying and trying to match up to her energy and enthusiasm.

Even Faculties need Quota in India?

On the other day when I was reading newspaper, one particular news caught my attention. It was talking about introducing Faculty quota for IIT professors and lecturers. It seems the HRD minister is not happy with the OBC student’s quota implemented in elite institutes and wants to implement quota even for faculties.

I don’t understand did the minister lose his mind or is he purposely trying to weaken the rich human capital of India from within? The idea behind student quota for elite institutes was to let the less privileged children get quality education. At least that is what was communicated by the ministry. But, practically that would be impossible if this new quota is implemented. So the equation would be weak students getting taught by weaker faculties!

Now let’s look at what could be the reasons for this decision;

Securing vote banks? Just that? I don’t think so. Looks like that’s just tip of the iceberg. Something else is there. It could be;

- That the minister did not realize what he was doing, or he is short sighted? Now if he did not realize and created this out of seer imagination and without any actual thoughts, research and analysis wasn’t there anyone who is smart enough to get this corrected. Are all our ministers this short sighted?

- Or he realized but does not bother about a wholesome social enrichment? If he realized and does not bother about it then it’s more crucial. Is it because his future is secured so he is not bothered, or it is because he does not know his job, or he doesn’t want the country to become developed from developing? Is it a full fledged agenda of these men to weaken India in these 5 years of rule? Or is it some developed country has asked for it and did some personal favor? It could be also because IIT’s and IIM’s are considered one of the best in the world and some selfish giants did not like it. And these are the steps to permanently bring down the status!

I may sound like Sherlock Holmes, however I can’t help but think this way. I too hope most of the above is not true, what if they are true?

I am sure young students are capable of fighting against this, but is this fight only of the young students? Shouldn’t we join hands? After all we are part of the same society and would be affected some way or the other if this evil thing is brought to implementation.

Re-living the College days

*** This post is dedicated to all my old friends!

Recently my sister got admission in Bangalore for +2 and shifted base here. She is staying with us now.

In Karnataka +2 is called Pre University, which one is supposed to study under the University syllabus unlike major part of India where it’s under school curriculum. Therefore practically she entered college 2 years earlier than we did :-).
Initially I was a bit skeptical as to how she would cope with the co-ed college environment. She has been a Girl’s school student all her life and is known to be more ‘girly’ in nature unlike me. [Probably I was trying to be a protective elder sister!]. However I was pleasantly surprised seeing her being comfortable in the new environment, in fact enjoying it.

It is very interesting to see her enthusiasm for anything related to college; be it studies, friends, activities or daily incidents. Once she comes back home after the classes, first thing she would do is to give a detailed report of what happened in the college, which girl did what, which boy said what. Who proposed to whom, who is very friendly with boys, who is shy blah blah. To be very frank I enjoy these talks and get a feel, I am back to college again! These talks have not changed since I have passed college. I tend to compare them with my college days, and find that they haven’t changed much. Back then I thought they were so important in life, now I know these are all silly stuffs but still enjoy them and fall prey for a gossip even without my knowledge!

Everyday she would come up with a new story, like; yesterday it seems they were playing ‘Truth & Dare’. I got so involved in the discussion that I started asking her enthusiastically who opted for truth, who for dare, who said what, who did what etc. Later when I thought of this, I was laughing at myself. One more interesting story was a boy trying to ask for a girl’s phone number, and she was not interested in sharing it with him. A typical college scene and how my sis helped her to give a fake number etc. Funny thing is she keeps asking me, what the right approach to solve various issue is. And I feel amused at the triviality of it but still love to solve it for her. Only advantage is now I can solve them from the perspective of an adult not an adolescent’s perspective. For this reason I feel sis has got an advantage, she has someone who she can get genuine help from, where as my learning was all trial and error.

I am liking this new fascination and enjoying every bit of it. Thanks to sis I am re – living my college days. Wish I could have brought back those days again and had all old friends around. Have those silly ‘Coffee House’ sessions for hours and still have energy to walk back to the Hostel to save some money for next day’s ‘Coffee House’ session.

*** This post is dedicated to all my old friends!